I am a firm believer that the stories we tell ourselves become the story of our life. The story of “success”, the story of “purpose,” these abstract ideas give life to our goals and ambitions.
We aim for the things we believe we want, but if we do not examine why we want them we can set ourselves up for failure pretty easy (which might not always be so bad, click here)
So here are 5 new ways of setting goals, 5 things to think twice about before you dedicate yourself to a path because you believe that it will fulfill you.
Stop Aiming For Positions
Thought leader. Industry leader. CEO. CFO. Positions. You are selling yourself short.
Anything that is given to us can be taken away, and do you really want to have the highlight of your life being: “Well, I was once…”
It also means that the success of your goal is determined by you being bestowed with that title or position. It is not in your control. You have to ‘earn it’ according to the rules and parameters of someone else.
Stop Wanting To Work Somewhere
It is easy to have a fantasy about working for, or with a particular organization or company. Their brand story and reputation attempts to persuade us into thinking that once we are associated that we will feel truly enabled to begin the work we really care about.
It also means that we are focusing on an organization accepting us in order to feel validated. It isn’t really about what that organization is setting out to change or do, but rather about us feeling like we have ‘arrived’ by association.
Stop Thinking About Money
“When I have a house, I will…”
“When I have a new car, I will…”
Objects or status are goals to many of us. They are the benchmarks we place in our future, and in doing so we postpone our effectiveness and happiness.
Having a yacht or being able to call yourself a millionaire is a limiting goal. Because once you achieve it what’s next? A bigger yacht? A billionaire? What does that truly achieve?
Stop Trying To Solve One Specific Thing
This is a tricky one to explain because having small achievable goals is important.
What would happen if the specific goals we set become landmarks instead of the final destination?
In other words, instead of that specific achievement being a goal, it is rather a stepping stone towards your larger ultimate goal.
Again, the reason for this is because it is limiting. Once you reach the goal you set out to achieve, then what?
Stop Having A Series of Goals
When you have a series of goals it means that you are emotionally attached to each of them. You need them to work, and failure at one (when the following goal isn’t yet defined) can feel defeat instead of a stumbling block or learning opportunity.
What would happen if you had one goal? One direction for your life? One ultimate mission that you strive at every single day?
It would feel much less like you are connecting the dots between a series of goals, that become an emotional rollercoaster and instead feel more like a long voyage out at the open sea.